Like probably most people, I’ve been equal parts obsessively
reading about the upcoming election and trying to avoid looking at any of it.
It’s like watching a scary movie. Except this scary movie is real life and it
seemingly won’t end. I’m exhausted reading about it – and honestly exhausted
talking about it – but I have to get a few things off my chest because this
election season hurts, and I know it’s not just me that feels it.
I felt it
during the primaries when the calls about Hillary Clinton were coming from
inside the house; when she was lambasted for “playing the game” and being “too
establishment” even though every president to date - and honestly probably every politician - has played the
game. I understand anti-establishment folks’ frustration with that, I truly do,
and I don’t blame people for passionately wanting to change things up. I also
would love to change things up. However, these comments also rang dismissive
and patriarchal in a way that hit me in the gut. It would be impossible for a
woman to make it as far as HRC in her political career without playing the game.
Because of obstacles put in place by centuries of patriarchal rule, she would
have to play the game harder and faster than any of her male counterparts to
even make it through the metaphorical door. There is no female Bernie Sanders on the political
main stage right now because if a 75 year old woman with very little regard for
her appearance who openly identified as a democratic socialist tried to run for president,
she wouldn’t even be considered. I’m not criticizing Sanders supporters. I like
Bernie Sanders too. But I was also struck by the unbelievable double-standard
reinforced in the public rhetoric and the frustration I personally felt. As a
woman, I’m not embarrassed to say that I was pumped as hell to have a
well-vetted, educated, prepared and seasoned female candidate in the running
but I also knew it was only the beginning. Note: if you read that last sentence and said to yourself "HRC is a 'criminal'/'liar'/'predator'/'murderer,'" this may not be the post for you. You are entitled to your opinion as much as I am and I respect that. Please do the same for me. If you really don't like this, don't read it.
And only the beginning it was indeed. After the primaries shit has
really hit the fan. I am truly astounded every day when I read the news, look
at Facebook or basically do anything that involves other people. Political
leanings aside, the aggressive, hypocritical, violent and hateful narrative being
emphasized this season has made me withdraw because I can’t. I can’t engage in
a discussion about politics because so much of what is being said invalidates my very existence (this link goes back way farther than the election but you get the picture). I can’t be excited or
happy that it is very likely we will have the first female president in office
because the hateful and hurtful environment fostered in this election has taken
that joy away from me. I feel acutely aware of how difficult it is for women
(and this is a cisgender, heterosexual, upper-class, white, Christian female–
arguably the most privileged position that someone identifying as a woman can
hold) to meet the standards set up for us and am overwhelmed by how much work there is left to do to create a supportive and affirming society. I can’t think about this topic without feeling
disheartened, sad and sick to my stomach because I know I’m far from the only one effected. The xenophobic, Islamophobic, classist, ableist and racist messages
permeating this election hurt so many. It’s estimated that 8 million adults in the US identify as LGB, 3.3 million people as Muslim, 1.4 million people as transgender, 55 million people as Latino/a/x, 42 million people as Black or African American, 27 million people live
with a disability under the age of 65, 43 million people live below the poverty line and 41 million people are foreign-born (Source - this doesn't include considerations for intersectionality). That's a whole lot of people. What are we as a nation telling all of these people by even giving these messages a platform? What is the lasting impact of legitimizing claims that immigrants are criminals (studies have shown that they aren't), building walls will solve problems (it won't) and that the country should be run like a corporation (it shouldn't and many people might suffer if it was)? People who work in, live in and love this country are being assaulted by messages that tell them they are not welcome, not wanted and not supported by the country they belong to and call home. A country, by the way, that was founded on principles of freedom of religion and freedom of speech (including the freedom to protest) and a judicial system based on the mantra "innocent until proven guilty," but I digress. This election will come and go but the impact will continue.
Therapists are legitimately worried about our mental health,
bullying has increased and distress is climbing.
I can't wait for this election to be over. I'm tired of continually feeling hurt, upset, angry and disheartened. But I will be able to return to my largely privileged existence fairly easily. I'm sure I will still feel the ripples of misogyny, hate and ignorance but, to be truthful, that's neither new nor solely or even primarily attributable to Trump. He has, however, verified and publicized the existence of issues women have long been speaking out about. But this isn't just about me. Maybe it isn't even about me at all. I'm tired but I feel the need to take one more public stand to say I don't subscribe to the idea that separation is the answer and I will not sit quietly while hateful rhetoric threatens to overwhelm my view of the country I live in. I will stand with those who are actively fighting to make this country better tomorrow than it is today through activism and advocacy and I will use my voice and my privileged position to do what I can to support them. Most importantly, I will vote for the candidate that I believe will best represent the needs of my country and the people in it. Please do the same, even if you disagree with me on who that is. Seriously people, vote.
With that, here's a photo of a chimp and a tiger being BFFs because it's awesome and, if they can do it, so can we.
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