- I ate a lot of doughnuts. At first, I ate them because I was sad and exhausted. But then it turned into more of a *nom nom nom* screw these unrealistic patriarchal beauty standards *nom nom nom* my body does not need to be thin to be valued *nom nom crunch* (<- that last one is a chip because you better believe I was mixing sweet and salty like a boss) kind of thing.
- I worked out with the kind of vigor and force that could only be powered by the emotional eating referenced above.
- I lamented that I did not have Tipsy Scoop stored up in my freezer, which would have expedited the cycle of eating and drinking (in moderation, of course), is insanely delicious and is also founded and run by a friend and badass female business owner. (Side note: Mel, if you're reading this and ever want to do some kind of cross-promotional flavor, I'm thinking vanilla bourbon base with brownies, pretzels and caramel. This is not some metaphor for how things that are different can come together and make something beautiful. Those are just flavors I like.)
- I read Leslie Knope's letter and wept real, ugly tears. I read the Ways I Am Preparing for a Trump Presidency and laughed. Also I did all of those things too.
- Similarly to Blythe Roberson, I looked in the mirror and said "in this America, I am voiceless."
- I smashed that mirror.
- I ordered Black Lives Matter signs to put outside of my house because as a white person living in a predominantly white neighborhood, visibly demonstrating solidarity and support is important.
- I researched ways to support those currently fighting for their land and their rights at Standing Rock.
- I had several productive conversations with cisgender males in my life about male accountability and how they can help support the strong, powerful women in their lives.
- I cried more real, ugly tears and George Michael walked (example below) around my house for hours in grief, sadness and guilt that it took this much to get me to do the last 3 things.
(- I listened to this song and felt the lyrics in the depths of my soul. I listened to this one and this one and thought "I am powerful." Then I read the news and was like oh, wait, nvm.
- I started working with a badass friend and a print shop to make shirts and sell them to donate to Planned Parenthood because I wanted the shirt and realized that anything I want in this world I will have to make myself.
- I made myself a snack.
- I watched and listened to a LOT of Harry Potter. Then I started getting mad that there are no Slytherin students against Voldemort. What is that?
- I felt sad and angry and hurt and desperate and defeated. I found solace in my community and in friends. I cried a lot. I watched a lot of bloopers from The Office.
- I went to a peaceful protest. Honestly I was too sad at that point to be angry or to chant or woo but I thought it was important and meaningful to show up in solidarity. It was powerful, peaceful and not small. There were thousands of people. There were children holding signs that said "I am the future" and men chanting "her body, her choice" and white people chanting "Black Lives Matter" and it was important. There were more tears.
This brings me to my final point. I was struck at the march but the varying reactions. Some protestors, like myself, were there to stand against the racism, misogyny, ableism, classism, homophobia and transphobia the election represented. Many others were there for a variety of similar and also different reasons. There were a lot of chants, including ones founded in negativity. I could not then, and I will not moving forward, be on the side of "not my president." I resented this statement when conservatives said it about Obama and I don't much like it now. I know there are conservatives and Republicans who do not agree with the ideals of prejudice and bigotry that are being promoted by certain Trump supporters. Drawing lines and divisions will only impinge on our ability to work together to build stronger communities. We need to speak out together about larger issues instead of yelling at each other about smaller ones. I recognize that there is a certain amount of privilege involved in my ability to extend a hand across party lines. Not everyone is able to do this. I also know that, to many, my hand is as meaningless as my brain.
Donald Trump did not create racism or sexism, he supported it. There have always been times in my life when I have known I was not safe, not valued and not respected because I am a woman. People of color have been speaking out to show society that systemic racism is a real problem for a long time. As is evidenced by current state legislation, issues around homophobia and transphobia are far from over and were no closer before this election. These issues are not new or novel and they extend beyond party lines. I have talked about white accountability and male accountability before and I can see now more clearly than ever how much there is to do to support the people of this country and that includes supporting those who don't agree with me.
Yes, I am mad and sad and scared that the vitriolic rhetoric spewed by the president-elect was given a pass by this country's voters. Yes, I still feel invalidated and upset. Yes, I take issue with the fact that many voters were able to cast their vote for Trump "in spite of" his demonstrated deference to marginalized communities. I sure do think there is some heavy sexism and misogyny in the argument that Hillary lost the vote for being "unlikeable" when the president-elect has the temperament of a hostile 4 year old and the vocabulary of a middle schooler. Yes, these things still bother me but the people who are willing to engage, to talk about it and to work together are not those things. Many of them are pissed at liberals and are scared of us too. Though I expect it to be difficult and challenging, I believe that I have to leave the division behind where I can if I'm going to get anywhere and I do have plans to go somewhere.
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